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BREAKING NEWS *** BREAKING NEWS

From Peed Off Voter

A Labour MP was today reported to have answered a question honestly. Sources also suggest that the renegade MP actually answered the question asked.

Colleagues were asked to comment on this news ….

A Downing St. spokesman said ‘the PM does not condone this kind of thing and has vowed to handle the matter personally. It is the PM’s view that actions such as this must be dealt with quickly and decisively and he has already ordered a review which will report in the Spring of 2012.’

Geoff Hoon MP ‘ I do not accept that. An MP telling the truth. Was anyone killed? You know, I was Defence Secretary once. I used to be important, even though I was not at the meetings’.

Phil Woolas MP ‘I will issue a statement once it has been approved by Ms Lumley’ .

Michael Martin MP ‘The wife says it wisnae me’.

Hazel Blears MP ‘ I can’t comment right now, I’m in the in the middle of moving house’.

Jack Straw ‘I find this difficult to believe. It just doesn’t add up. Was it a question about Council tax?’.

Caroline Flint MP ‘Does my arse look big in this?’.

Jacqui Smith MP ‘This is an act of terrorism from which the publc must be protected. I have ordered the immediate arrest of 12 Muslims and a Tory MP who will be responsible for this and other crimes. We of course object to torture’

Jim Murphy MP ‘Honest? What’s that?’.

Yvette Cooper MP ‘I can’t believe it. What a balls-up. Where’s Ed?’.

Ed Balls MP ‘Uuh! I can’t spell that nver mind know what it is’.

Harriet Harman MP ‘This was under the old system. We have already taken steps to ensure this kind of thing will not happen again in the future. I bet it was a man’.

James Purnell MP ‘ this is messy and needs to be cleaned up. Cleanliness is not my field of expertise’.

Tony McNulty MP ‘Oh no, not more truth. I’m in enough shit already’.

Douglas Alexander MP ‘As my sister Wendy will confirm, honesty is not in the family DNA’.

Ed Miliband MP ‘ Sorry, I have not yet been told what my response should be’.

Lord Mandelson ‘ This is simply not possible, it must be that the honourable member has been misrepresented by the press. I shall deal with the reporter myself’.

Margaret Beckett MP ‘The truth can be quite ugly’.

Tessa Jowell MP ‘Honesty does not pay the mortgage’.

Shaun Woodward MP ‘An honest MP, you say? Quite preposterous! That really does take the biscuit. Butler come and take the biscuit’.

Andy Burnham MP ‘Not good. That kind of thing can lead to divorce’.

Baroness Scotland ‘ It had to be a Commoner, the Lords simply does not tolerate that kind of indiscretion’.

Alastair Darling MP also commented but the reporter interviewing Mr Darling was taken ill and rushed to hospital. Doctors are concerned that she may be not come out of her deep coma, caused by having to listen to Mr Darling for longer than 1 minute.

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  1. May 10, 2009 at 9:07 pm

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